Yeah, I know I've got it going on.
I see you checking me out as I sashay to the front desk to announce my arrival.
You've got that smirk on your face as though maybe this is your lucky day. I see your come-hither look and heard your 'howse you doing?' moan as I walked by.
Yes honey, this just might be your lucky day. You sit tight and let me check in. I'll get back to you and maybe we'll exchange digits.
This is after all, the frigging Free Clinic. A place where you want to pick up a little action. Dang, dawg... get a life.
But nevermind... I'll play along.
'Next!' motioned the receptionist for me to sign in.
"I have a 2pm appointment," I proudly announce.
"You're here for TB, right?" the receptionist asks in a soft whisper.
"That's right," I answer in my normal voice to balance the volume.
I can feel your eyes burning through me so I turn around to smile and wink at you. You nod back and grin from ear to ear. Oh man, this just might be your lucky day. You sit tight sugar and I'll join you in a few.
I look through my papers of other tests I need to have taken while I'm here. I'm not the least bit happy that I've got to drive all the way out here but my HR person called last week to say that my it will hurt my insurance 'credit' or whatnot if I request a series of test, even for adoption purposes. So I do the desperate thing and go down to the Free Clinic.
"Oh, I also need an HIV test," I say.
What's the matter sugar? You ain't smiling at me no more.
"You know, you don't need an appointment for that. We do free testing from 4-7:30 here," the receptionist mouths to me with no sound.
"Well," I basically yell to make up for her lack of voice. "I think I need an appointment. It's not just HIV but I need a syphillis test too. The entire STD package."
Sugar? Sugar! Where you going?! How come you're running out the door? Don't you want to sit with me and chat while I wait for the doc in the box?
Awwwww dang.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Holy Crap
This dossier process is leaving a permanent wtf? expression on my face. There are some people in this world that I just don't get.
Seriously, what carny truck did they fall out of?
By now you know more than you'll ever want to know about the process and how everything has to be notarized and all that fancy-schmancy stuff. If not, you can read about it here and here for starters.
Soooo... I go to a local bank where I know a teller is notarized in my county. I waited 20 frigging minutes until she finishes with her first client. I finally get to her and asks her to notarize something and after another 20 minutes of chatting, she won't do it because I'm not a bank client and she needs to account for every minute of her day. WTF?!!?? You just spent 20 minutes bs-ing to me and now you can't spend another 20 seconds just punching your little stamp on a piece of paper? I offered to pay a couple of bucks and she said she couldn't. For everyone out there... KEY BANK SUCKS. I went to Charter One and they were more than willing and helpful.
Yesterday, after a month of waiting for my doctor's appt., the nurse tells me that there was a mistake on my appt. notice and that I was just scheduled for a TB test. I said... 'Nooooo. I made it perfectly clear to the receptionist when I called that this was for an adoption and I needed a physical done so the doctor would sign off on my papers.' At this point, they already have my weight, height, blood pressure and medical history so all the doctor had to do was get his stethoscope-thingy and make do with some pushing and prodding and asking me to breath in and out. Any 5-year old who has ever played 'doctor' can do it. Just go through the motions, doc, and sign the papers. It's simple and takes only 2 minutes.
Well.. he wouldn't do it because it wasn't on his schedule book. Damn. The next available opening is August 23. WTF?!?!?
I left in near tears and called the Cleveland Clinic and fortunately there's a brand spanking new doctor there that has no patients so I am scheduled to be seen on July 3.
It's the stupid medical that is holding up my homestudy and dossier.
Seriously, what carny truck did they fall out of?
By now you know more than you'll ever want to know about the process and how everything has to be notarized and all that fancy-schmancy stuff. If not, you can read about it here and here for starters.
Soooo... I go to a local bank where I know a teller is notarized in my county. I waited 20 frigging minutes until she finishes with her first client. I finally get to her and asks her to notarize something and after another 20 minutes of chatting, she won't do it because I'm not a bank client and she needs to account for every minute of her day. WTF?!!?? You just spent 20 minutes bs-ing to me and now you can't spend another 20 seconds just punching your little stamp on a piece of paper? I offered to pay a couple of bucks and she said she couldn't. For everyone out there... KEY BANK SUCKS. I went to Charter One and they were more than willing and helpful.
Yesterday, after a month of waiting for my doctor's appt., the nurse tells me that there was a mistake on my appt. notice and that I was just scheduled for a TB test. I said... 'Nooooo. I made it perfectly clear to the receptionist when I called that this was for an adoption and I needed a physical done so the doctor would sign off on my papers.' At this point, they already have my weight, height, blood pressure and medical history so all the doctor had to do was get his stethoscope-thingy and make do with some pushing and prodding and asking me to breath in and out. Any 5-year old who has ever played 'doctor' can do it. Just go through the motions, doc, and sign the papers. It's simple and takes only 2 minutes.
Well.. he wouldn't do it because it wasn't on his schedule book. Damn. The next available opening is August 23. WTF?!?!?
I left in near tears and called the Cleveland Clinic and fortunately there's a brand spanking new doctor there that has no patients so I am scheduled to be seen on July 3.
It's the stupid medical that is holding up my homestudy and dossier.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
This Says it All
"All children come from God; for some, the journey home just takes a little longer." -unknown
Please.Please.Please.Please.Please
Please click on the ads in the right margin. I have them there to earn money to pay for my baby's passport and visa. There is usually 2-3 ads on the top and they are mainly adoption-related. There's one on the bottom right under the Playlist.
Please click on all of them. You will be directed to the site of the ad. Just click the back button to return to my blog and click on another ad.
Many thanks!!
Please click on all of them. You will be directed to the site of the ad. Just click the back button to return to my blog and click on another ad.
Many thanks!!
Friday, June 22, 2007
Reality Revisited
I had such a blast having my godchildren visit me this week that I couldn't wait until I bring my daughter home and the three kids can get to know each other, play together and just have a good time making memories.
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. My child is already alive. She's probably a year old and is living in a babyhouse. All the attention and love given to Eddi, who's 9 months old, is such a huge part of his development and happiness. Then I got this sickened feeling thinking of how alone and understimulated my baby is.
I now feel guilty allowing a few days to pass without concentrating on my dossier. I'm giving myself the luxury of dilly-dallying around and perhaps somewhere in Uzbekistan my baby, during the most important development stage of her life, is without daily stimulation, cooing, tickling, peek-a-boo playing and proper nutrition.
It makes me wonder about fate. Has my daughter, by a higher power (meaning God, not the Uzbekistani government), already been assigned to me? If I get my paperwork into Uzbekistan a month from now, would it be the same child as if I were to get my papers in Uzbekistan tomorrow or four months from now?
I don't know. I don't even know how to feel about this. I remind myself daily to have faith - have faith in the adoption process, the Uzbeki government making this adoption go smoothly and to have faith that I will be a good single mom - but how can I convince myself to have faith that the speed in which I'm moving in this adoption is going to be okay to my baby? Did fate put us together from the day I decided to adopt from Uzbekistan? Does it happen when my paperwork gets to Uzbekistan?
Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. My child is already alive. She's probably a year old and is living in a babyhouse. All the attention and love given to Eddi, who's 9 months old, is such a huge part of his development and happiness. Then I got this sickened feeling thinking of how alone and understimulated my baby is.
I now feel guilty allowing a few days to pass without concentrating on my dossier. I'm giving myself the luxury of dilly-dallying around and perhaps somewhere in Uzbekistan my baby, during the most important development stage of her life, is without daily stimulation, cooing, tickling, peek-a-boo playing and proper nutrition.
It makes me wonder about fate. Has my daughter, by a higher power (meaning God, not the Uzbekistani government), already been assigned to me? If I get my paperwork into Uzbekistan a month from now, would it be the same child as if I were to get my papers in Uzbekistan tomorrow or four months from now?
I don't know. I don't even know how to feel about this. I remind myself daily to have faith - have faith in the adoption process, the Uzbeki government making this adoption go smoothly and to have faith that I will be a good single mom - but how can I convince myself to have faith that the speed in which I'm moving in this adoption is going to be okay to my baby? Did fate put us together from the day I decided to adopt from Uzbekistan? Does it happen when my paperwork gets to Uzbekistan?
Thursday, June 21, 2007
It's Like Taking the SATs
Remember in high school when you were crammed into a dark and damp auditorium to take the SATs? The one and only test that would determine the rest of your life. The test score would determine whether you were destined for blue collar struggles or white collar grandeur. Whether your future would consist of a vocabulary of words like 'chief executive officer', 'international managing director' or 'chief fry cook', or 'international house of pancakes shift director.'
The SATs are, at that point in your life, the most important 5 hours of your life. It's make or break time. It's do or die time. Do you have the cajones to make a better man of yourself? The dossier is the same. It's the most important 5 weeks or 5 months of your life. It's make or break time in adopting. It's do or die.
Whereas the SATs is about having paid attention in class for the past 10 years, the dossier is all about having stayed out of trouble the past 10 years.
Here are the pararells between the two:
#1:
SATs: Hmmm... damn, did I bring enough #2 pencils? Wait, this isn't #2! Ohgod.. there's no number on this freaking pencil. Jiminy Cricket.. this eraser isn't working. Agghhhh... now it's a big smear. Shitshitshitshit.
Dossier: Ohgod.. did that document say black ink? Is this black? No wait.. it's navy blue. Shit. Is navy blue going to work? Okayokay.. calm down. Let's start over with another form. OH SHIT.. my printer is out of paper!
#2:
SATs: A,B,D,E,B... what the..? ... Johnny's on page 5 already!??! How did that happen?!?! Okayokayokay.. don't panic.. just read faster. Concentrate. focus. Con.cen.trate. C'mon, you can do it. Oh cool.. this answer column looks like a snake. hehe. I like snakes. If I were a snake, I'd be a cobra. No, I'd be a rattlesnake and live in Texas. Ohh.. I'm hungry. I could go for a Texas burger at the burger shack down the street.
Dossier: Birth certificate? Check. Marriage certificate? Don't need. Ohhh less paperwork. hehe. Family photos? Check. Oh. I don't like the way my living room looks in this picture. What if I moved the couch over there and the piano here? Hm.. no. Let's see. Maybe a different color wall. I'll check online for color ideas.
Uh? What? The Moleys have their paperwork in Uzbekistan already!?!? Oh my god, the Smiths' dossier has already been apostilled?! Ohgodohgodohgod... how did they get ahead of me?!?!
#3:
SATs: Mary is riding in a train going 60 mph heading east and John is riding his bicycle heading north at 33.5 kilometers per 90 minutes. How long will it be until Mary and John meet at the coffeeshop on the 164 degress latitude?
Dossier: Melissa is filing for her 600A to be processed by the US Government that processes paperwork at the speed of 5.7 words per document per hour. If Melissa submits her forms before the passport is authenticated and her secondary document is notarized, how long until she gets her dossier completed?
The SATs are, at that point in your life, the most important 5 hours of your life. It's make or break time. It's do or die time. Do you have the cajones to make a better man of yourself? The dossier is the same. It's the most important 5 weeks or 5 months of your life. It's make or break time in adopting. It's do or die.
Whereas the SATs is about having paid attention in class for the past 10 years, the dossier is all about having stayed out of trouble the past 10 years.
Here are the pararells between the two:
#1:
SATs: Hmmm... damn, did I bring enough #2 pencils? Wait, this isn't #2! Ohgod.. there's no number on this freaking pencil. Jiminy Cricket.. this eraser isn't working. Agghhhh... now it's a big smear. Shitshitshitshit.
Dossier: Ohgod.. did that document say black ink? Is this black? No wait.. it's navy blue. Shit. Is navy blue going to work? Okayokay.. calm down. Let's start over with another form. OH SHIT.. my printer is out of paper!
#2:
SATs: A,B,D,E,B... what the..? ... Johnny's on page 5 already!??! How did that happen?!?! Okayokayokay.. don't panic.. just read faster. Concentrate. focus. Con.cen.trate. C'mon, you can do it. Oh cool.. this answer column looks like a snake. hehe. I like snakes. If I were a snake, I'd be a cobra. No, I'd be a rattlesnake and live in Texas. Ohh.. I'm hungry. I could go for a Texas burger at the burger shack down the street.
Dossier: Birth certificate? Check. Marriage certificate? Don't need. Ohhh less paperwork. hehe. Family photos? Check. Oh. I don't like the way my living room looks in this picture. What if I moved the couch over there and the piano here? Hm.. no. Let's see. Maybe a different color wall. I'll check online for color ideas.
Uh? What? The Moleys have their paperwork in Uzbekistan already!?!? Oh my god, the Smiths' dossier has already been apostilled?! Ohgodohgodohgod... how did they get ahead of me?!?!
#3:
SATs: Mary is riding in a train going 60 mph heading east and John is riding his bicycle heading north at 33.5 kilometers per 90 minutes. How long will it be until Mary and John meet at the coffeeshop on the 164 degress latitude?
Dossier: Melissa is filing for her 600A to be processed by the US Government that processes paperwork at the speed of 5.7 words per document per hour. If Melissa submits her forms before the passport is authenticated and her secondary document is notarized, how long until she gets her dossier completed?
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