Yeah, I know I've got it going on.
I see you checking me out as I sashay to the front desk to announce my arrival.
You've got that smirk on your face as though maybe this is your lucky day. I see your come-hither look and heard your 'howse you doing?' moan as I walked by.
Yes honey, this just might be your lucky day. You sit tight and let me check in. I'll get back to you and maybe we'll exchange digits.
This is after all, the frigging Free Clinic. A place where you want to pick up a little action. Dang, dawg... get a life.
But nevermind... I'll play along.
'Next!' motioned the receptionist for me to sign in.
"I have a 2pm appointment," I proudly announce.
"You're here for TB, right?" the receptionist asks in a soft whisper.
"That's right," I answer in my normal voice to balance the volume.
I can feel your eyes burning through me so I turn around to smile and wink at you. You nod back and grin from ear to ear. Oh man, this just might be your lucky day. You sit tight sugar and I'll join you in a few.
I look through my papers of other tests I need to have taken while I'm here. I'm not the least bit happy that I've got to drive all the way out here but my HR person called last week to say that my it will hurt my insurance 'credit' or whatnot if I request a series of test, even for adoption purposes. So I do the desperate thing and go down to the Free Clinic.
"Oh, I also need an HIV test," I say.
What's the matter sugar? You ain't smiling at me no more.
"You know, you don't need an appointment for that. We do free testing from 4-7:30 here," the receptionist mouths to me with no sound.
"Well," I basically yell to make up for her lack of voice. "I think I need an appointment. It's not just HIV but I need a syphillis test too. The entire STD package."
Sugar? Sugar! Where you going?! How come you're running out the door? Don't you want to sit with me and chat while I wait for the doc in the box?
Awwwww dang.
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4 comments:
ok seriously, i may have to start cut and pasting your blogs onto my myspace. they are just too funny!!
That is hilarious! Do you mind if I link to your blog from mine? Just leave me a comment if it's okay.
Hi Melissa,
Thanks for visiting our Taiwan blog. I enjoyed reading through your blog this afternoon -- hilarious! It's great that you can see the humor in what can be a very trying process (as you've already discovered). Anyway, congratulations on your decision to adopt from Uzbekistan -- we wish you a quick referral and travel date, and will check back to see how things are going! Karin
Okay, what to do when your daughter reads your blog someday. She will be so proud Melissa. hehehehe How you can take an STD appointment and make it funny & real is beyond me. Isn't that true, don't you just feel ridiculous? :) Smiles!
Christy
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