A UZ Story: An Ambassador, A Hooker, and a Boiling Man

God, how I love a good international espionage/thriller novel with edge-of-your-seat twists and turns.

And I love it even more if it's actually true.

Meet Craig Murray, an ousted British Ambassador to Uzbekistan who fell in love with an Uzbek um, dancer, and hear stories of torture where they, um, boil people alive.

Here's an article on the whole sorid yet edge-of-your-seat (yeah, I'm too lazy to look up 'captivating' in the theasurus) drama.

In a nutshell, this is what the drama is all about: (before I start.. I should mention that the article states "Uzbekistan sits in the cold, rough heart of Central Asia, shaped like a jagged bit of shrapnel from the explosion of the Soviet Union." I seemed to have overlooked that when I was drawing my 'sitting camel', 'happy crab' 'dead bird' outlines from Uzbekistan.)

Okay... back to the synopsis:

The British Ambassabor, after learning that the regime there, at the urging of the US and UK, allegedly boils a man to his death, visits a strip club in Tashkent. A stripper, who becomes the star of this story wonders '"Who is that old foreigner? Does he have any money?' The Ambassador, in his memoirs recalls that day slightly different: "As I caught her glance, I felt she was drawing me into her very soul," he writes in his 2006 memoir, "Murder in Samarkand" (called "Dirty Diplomacy" in the 2007 U.S. edition). "She looked lost and anxious, like she really didn't want to be there. She defied the impossible by exuding, at the same time, such ripe sexual attraction and such innocent vulnerability. Her body invited sex while her eyes screamed, 'Save me.'"

(my notes: hey perverted old man... you're in a frigging strip club. Of course there's going to be the sexual tension dripping through the air.)

In any case, according to the article, "He tucked $20 into her embroidered panties, walked away from his wife and two children and brought his belly dancer to London to start a new life together." (note: even I don't have embroidered panties. Mine are boringly plain. Anyhoo... back to the story.)

Fast forward through the debauchery and being caught for trading sex for visas - the Ambassador is fired. He claims this was done not because of his non-Ambassador-like behavior but because he stumbled upon the American "extraordinary rendition" program, whereby terror suspects are flown for questioning to countries where they can, um, boil people.

Oh yeah.. who doesn't love a good story of sex, greed, international politics, and human stewpots. This will make for some good bedtime reading for my and Babyluv.

Say Goodbye to the Anal Probe

I've been warned. When picking up Babyluv at the orphanage, unbeknownst to her, she'll probably be hosting a party for parasites and other germs. (She gets her party animal ways from me. woot! woot!) Moreover, she'll most likely have a fever every now and then due to the change in her environment.

My fear is that I'll have to do the dreaded rectal temperature taking. I can't even bear to watch my vet take my dog's temperature. I just know I won't be able to violate Babyluv's 'bad touch' region.

Thank goodness I found this nifty gadget. It's a pacificer thermometer. How cool is this?!?

Just a Short Post

What's a hot and sexy momma-to-be to do while waiting to meet her real Babyluv?

She looks for a temporary baby-love (note the spelling difference. Never, ever, ever confuse 'Babyluv' with 'baby-love' Two totally, totally different things).

Click here.

Hey Ethiopia

It's Klaus from American Dad!

Hey Kgryxyzpqxzstan Mamas!!

In honor of Suzanne who believes that Kzyxyzstan is shaped like a spleen:


Be proud like a peacock.

A cool shark with shades! The shades are from the shape of some major lake in the country. (ciggie courtesy of Tasha.. although I wouldn't recommend it.)

Hey Philippini Mimis!

Spotted dog catching tossed kibbles.
At the Dinosaur Display at the Museum.

Hey China Mamas

See... it's a mama bird pointing.

I obviously have no motivation to work today.

Next week I'll do Krygyzestkdthsstan, Russia and Ethiopia. Am I missing anyone?

Hey Spazzy KAZzers

You're welcome.

Hey VietnaMamas!

Ya'll know how much I looove to make Uzbekistan easy to locate on the map. Here are my samples.

Well, I decided to bide my time and help out my fellow Vietnamamas when they get asked.. 'which one is Vietnam on the map?'

I think it looks a lot like an elongated and armless Calvin from 'Calvin and Hobbes.'

What do you think?

Too Stoopid for Baby Games

Shit.

I couldn't even figure out half of these toddler learning cards.

So don't bother getting these cards as a baby gift for me or Babyluv.

What the hell is hydrogen bonding?

To My Ethiopia Sistahs'

Hey ya'll.

Today's post is all about Ethiopia. When I think of Ethiopia, I think of all my fellow international adoption mommas. When my co-worker thinks of Ethiopia, she thinks of all the great marathon runners. When my snooty Bedwetters Anonymous sponsor(SHUT UP! I don't judge YOU!) thinks of Ethiopia, she thinks of all the coffee.

What's so cool about Ethiopia is their forward thinking. The WSJ reported that the Ethiopian government commissioned a US-based advertising company to come up with a logo that will make consumers feel like they are drinking a luxury when they have Ethiopian coffee.

This month, the Ethiopian government is releasing the logos for three varieties of Ethiopian coffee beans that it hopes will eventually appear from the burlap sacks that are used to transport coffee beans to coffee cups in cafes. It is the first time the country has introduced a brand for its major export.

That is just too cool. A country creating a logo for an export.

And to conclude this post, I want to dedicate it to my BFF (blogging friend forevah') Haze. Ya'll can find her post on my blogroll thingy on the right. She's in the process to adopt her sweet Myfanwy from Ethiopia.

But my fellow adoption sistahs', please click here to leave Haze a message of goodwill and support. Show her the love!!!

I love you Haze!

Babyluv's Hero Strikes Again...

Literally.

Ya'll remember 7-year-old Latarian Milton of Palm Beach Gardens, FL from last week? He's the kid that stole his grandmother's SUV and took it for a joyride and told police that he likes to do 'hood rat things' and thinks 'doing bad things is fun.' (the last quote is what sealed to deal to making him Babyluv's hero. Her deal. Not mine. As a disclaimer, I don't like doing bad things. It's wrong.) Here's a link to my post about him.

Anyhoo... Lati (as I call him) was taken in for a mental health evaluation after he allegedly beat down his grandma inside a Wal-Mart over some chicken wings.

According to grandma, it all started when she refused to buy him some wings and Lati ordered them anyway. Grandma went to confront him and that's when happy hour started.

She said, "He just started hitting me - just started hitting me in front of the whole Wal-Mart."

I've got one question about this entire post and the decline of American society:

They serve chicken wings at Wal-Mart???

I think..

I gave everyone who asked an invite to the private blog. I couldn't keep track. If you didn't get yours, email me.

A Baby AND Clear Skin!

Hot diggity!!! Uzbekistan rocks. Not only am I going to get Babyluv from there but I can now get gloriously clear skin while I'm over there.

You see, according to a press release from Skinvisible, a research and development company focused on formulating enhanced patented dermatology products, announced it has signed an exclusive licensing agreement for the right to develop and market two anti-acne products.

This agreement marks Skinvisible's second entry into the $2.8 billion acne market. The territory includes Turkey, Azerbaijan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Turkmenistan, and Uzbekistan.

Double diggity! What more could a woman want?!

P.S. Yes, that is my face. Or maybe not. No, it is. Not. I kid, I kid. No I don't. Whatevs. I'm bored with this conversation.

Regardless, in a few months when I get to Uzbekistan and buy that product, it'll be as clear as a baby's butt.

Mother's Day in the Motherlands

Mother's Day is this weekend. Most of us think of our actual moms on this day but it's also a day for the mother's of the nations. You know, First Ladies. So I thought I'd pay tribute to the mother of Babyluv's homeland and a few other First Ladies around the world.

Here's Uzbekistan:

Here's France (bra courtesy of Tasha):

Here's Turks & Caicos:

Classy ladies.

Mani/Pedi for Babyluv

Does anyone ever read those SkyMall catalogs from airlines? I have no shame admitting that I do. In fact, I've been tempted to purchase a few things. My latest temptation is something that's really made for pets but I think I can give it a dual use purpose for Babyluv.

It's the Pet Straightjacket. Yeah, yeah... get off your judge seat and hear me out.

It's a bitch clipping nails of infants and squishy toddlers. Nail clippers are sharp, ya'll. And rusty ones are full of tentnus crapola.

The nifty straight jacket restrains pets for nail clipping purposes. There's even a head hold in the contraption, so you know it's safe.

I say if it's good enough for Fido, it's good enough for Babyluv.

Mommy's Got a Drinking Buddy Next Decade

According to a new study printed in Time magazine, it appears as though Babyluv will be sporting a goth attitude and will most likely indulge in drinking during her teen years.

In a nutshell, the research states that internationally adopted children are twice as likely to be diagnosed with an emotional or behavioral problem.

"Foreign adoptees are far more likely to internalize their problems, suffering more commonly from depression or separation anxiety disorders."

The study suggests that the problems could be due to genetics or poor perinatal care. "The deleterious effects may quite possibly have come before the adoption ever took place," study author, psychologist Margaret Keyes points out.

Whatevs.

Bottom line is that I won't have to hide the vodka in my water bottle next decade.

Mondays Are Hard

Hey ya'll! I got the requests to view my private blog. I've been busy all weekend partying and all. You know, the usual Tasha stuff.

I'll get the invites out tonight or tomorrow. Most likely tomorrow because today is Cinco de Mayo and I need a margarita or four.

Good news is that I'm going to Annie's baby shower in a few weeks. I think I'll wear the same dress I wore this weekend to a fundraiser. I don't think she'll mind that I am wearing the same dress twice. I think it's kinda cute being pink and all.. 'cause she's adopting a girl.

By the way, those are my fellow IAMASLUTs in the picture with me. Ya'll know who you are. (and Haze, once again, you're the one taking the photo. We've gotta stop having you be the photographer at these social outings.)

Kisses,
Tash

Me So Happy

Myspace Graphics

Yeah, yeah. It's happening. I'm $5000 poorer as proof. For those who want to know more, get your sweet bottoms to my private blog.

Referral!!

Somehow I know this is a match made in heaven.