New Diaper Rash Cure.. better yet, Feast on My Butt

It's dry here in Vegas but back home it's freezing. Both conditions are enough to make me one big bundle of flaking skin and super cracked lips. Which, in turn, makes me think of painful diaper rash. Which, in turn, makes me worry about my little bundle of joy and how I need to find the next best thing to Desitin, the diaper rash creme.

So, I searched high and low for what's the next sanitary invention that's going to keep my babylove's bottom nice and smooth and pain-free. And get this.. I found it! Better yet, it's indigenous to Uzbekistan!

It's called doctor fish. These little fishies are native to the rivers of the Middle East and Central Asia.

In Japan, spa goers suffering from a variety of skin ailments, most notably psoriasis, come to have their problem areas picked clean by the hungry doctor fish. The cute little fishy-wishy will pick at dead and affected areas of the skin, which allows the healthy skin to grow in its place.

Supposedly the feeding sessions (for the fish) cure most skin conditions and it's rather therapeutic.

I checked with a bunch of pet stores and they don't carry them. You need a special export license. Furthermore, aquarium conditions are also unsuitable for doctor fish as they'll only feast on human flesh when they're in a natural enclosure.