Waiting's a bitch. It sucks and you have to deal with crappy questions everyday. "When are you traveling?" "Do you have a baby yet?" yadda yadda yadda. It grows old after the first hour and then it gets to the point where you start getting cranky and moody. Most people file your attitude under 'must be that time of the month.' Actually, that's putting it mildly. Most people are thinking 'Holy Shit. Who lit the fuse on her tampon?!?!' Well, get used to it because it's going to be that time of month from now until I get on the big bird to fly across the ocean.
And speaking of 'that time of month'and traveling, I discovered a great gadget to take along on one's trip that provides extra feminine protection. It's the Pink Stinger (pictured, above left), a stun gun creatively disguised as a tampon...except for the buttons, prods and high voltage. This weapon of mass absorption can be used to protect your precious bundles of joy (baby or dossier) when some scary looking man looks like he's going to make a grab for them and run.
Now you can just yank out (from your purse, not elsewhere, um, on or in the body) the Pink Stinger and taser the bad man. Although at first he might just be grossed out or confused that your are going to do something to him with a tampon of all things, but once he comes out of his stunned stupor, he'll be none the wiser.
And ladies, just a friendly reminder, do NOT use this as a tampon. It will hurt.
10 comments:
Sheesh! Would hate to grab that by mistake.
Remind me not to ask you if you've gotten a referral yet!
It will hurt or give you that extra sumpin' yo' man caint!!
Beverly
Tasha - where do you find these things? This item is way too funny!
Most excellent. I wonder if they make a companion product that is duct tape disguised as a panty shield. Then you could tape the bad man's mouth shut while he's down to keep him from calling you bad names once he comes to. Or to keep your friends from asking you when you're traveling.
-Suzanne
What an excellent travel essential! I would hate to mistakenly grab it in the middle of the night though.
You never cease to amaze me:-) I think that is hilarious!!
I guess it's shaped like a tampon in order to confuse your attacker, thus buying you some time before zapping him? Good grief.
I'm glad you confirmed it is not for 'personal' use...
Why is it that every time I come here the first words out of my mouth are "holy sh*t - look at that!"...lol.
I don't know where the hell you ever find half of the things you post about, but if I ever need to find a personal massager shaped in the form of a Disney character (or something equally bizarre and unimaginable), I know you're my go-to girl...ROFL.
Yes, remind me never to ask if you've got a referral...or a tampon.
That's one scary-assed gizmo. Is it wrong that it's also just the littlest bit, I dunno...exciting?
(Yikes, I've been in Russkiland too long!)
Where do you find these things? hahahahhaaha!
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