Are any of you prospective adoptive parents taking language lessons? I started to take some and am on the lame chapter that has me reciting sentences like 'I have new pants. My friend bought a new shirt. The shirt is orange.'
As a veteren traveler, I know that those sentences are useless overseas. So I compiled a list of phrases that you really need to learn. They are lifesavers.
However, when it comes to dealing with the Embassy, Visa people, or orphanage, you're on your own.
Upon Arrival
I have nothing to declare.
That’s a vibrating back massager. Seriously.
In the Taxi from Airport to Hotel
Please turn the meter on.
Your brother’s hotel sounds very nice, but I have reservations at another hotel.
Please slow down, I am getting carsick.
Jesus, Joseph, Mary! Sheep on the road!
Yes, the dead sheep will offer a feast. But must it ride beside me?
I will change the tire, but don't expect a tip.
At the Hotel Desk
I would like your least expensive room.
I would like a better room.
Do you have any sheets without blood stains?
If paper is not permitted in the toilet, where do I discard the used toilet paper?
At Local Markets
No monkey testicles today, madam. Do you sell peanut butter?
Are you sure this Praba bag is an authentic Prada bag?
In a Fix with Authority or Hooligans
Have I broken a law?
May I offer you a gift of money?
Did I say American? I meant Canadian.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
18 comments:
Since you don't have a referral yet, how did you chose between learning Russian, Uzbek or one of the other languages spoken in Uzbekistan? Also, which language program are you using? Do you recommend it?
OH YEAH. Add to the list "way too damn much for THAT" and
"which way to the hole in the floor where I can release the hounds in my bowel?"
You're such a clever little girl.
Do what everyone else does. Sew a Canadian patch on your backpack, even when you're from Poland.
Awesome.
At the hotel, don't forget:
"I would like a room that is not rented by the hour."
"At what time do the packs of dogs outside shut the hell up?"
I thought about learning Amharic (the primary language of Ethiopia) but I'm glad I didn't, because I got referred a kid from the Sidama Zone, where they don't speak that language!
Haha! That is too funny!
hmmm....think that Carissa can do Maple leaves???
These are great. Of course, I howled out loud at the last phrase.
I haven't tried learning Amharic yet. Chou2 makes a good point so I may wait until I get my referral.
I have a friend who flew to London on Canada Air shortly after 9/11. He was hoping that there would be a lesser chance of hijack!
Geez... you crack me up!
"If paper is not permitted in the toilet, where do I discard the used toilet paper?"
I never had thought I would need this phrase until going to Santorini, Greece and then in China. Non flushable toilets in Santorini and open trenches in China.
Great list.
Beverly
I'll have to copy these down for the next trip. I'd still like to know how to say I have new pants. Or new shoes. If I have new shoes, everyone should know.
And, Micah is My-kah. But, we call him Mic sometimes. Like Mic Jagger. He loves it.
I'm about to start a Russian class - I've been reading the phrasebook and working on "I do not WANT it extracted!!!" Thehusband is happy we're going to have a translator.
Can you find those translations for me in Vietnamese and Chinese?
I agree with crazylady...you missed one very important one. You want to learn how to ask "can you spare a square?" while you are crapping yourself sick over a communal toilet. Seriously, it's like a men's room only without the nice little half privacy wall between the urinals.
I ahd that same toilet paper experience in Santorini. Plus, a shower hose that just came out of the wall. No curtain, no tub, jsut a drain in the middle of te bathroom floor.
One important one to add to the list - "Thanks for asking, but no, I do not want to marry you. Or your cousin."
Girl, I started reading your blog after you left a comment on mine. You are seriously funny and probably my long lost soul sister!
Congratulations on learning a new language, I am still struggling to learn Canadian (it is soooo different from Floridian, eh?).
So when are you going to update us on where you are in the adoption process?
You left out an important one: "Please don't take my spare lithium batteries. I need them for my vibrating back massager."
-Suzanne
I kinda sorta passed some gas, I mean passed a torch, to you. I'm giving you my pills. Come visit me and tell me which colour you want. I'm partial to little blue pills myself.
If you don't come around,I'll melt the gold and sell it for cash.
You need a "Wicked Uzbek" book. I love that series.
I say stick with a language you can cope with.
Very practical list.
Post a Comment