Only the Deaf Can Make it Pornographic (Warning: R Rated)

I’ve got a dear friend, John, who is hard of hearing. That’s okay because so am I. When we have a phone conversation, it’s a mess. We misunderstand everything and I’m amazed that we are still friends. I think the fact that we talk via instant message saves the friendship. Here’s our conversation from last week.

John: … okay, enough about me. Where are you adopting from again?
Tasha: Uzbekistan
John: I AM NOT GAY!!! Why are you being nasty?
Tasha: Huh? Whaaaa?
John: You asked me if I effed a man.
Tasha: Whaaaat? No way!
John: Did too. You said, and I repeat, ‘you f*cked a man’
Tasha: I did NOT! I said Uzbekistan
John: And that makes it better? Asking if I petted a man??!?!
Tasha: What? What are you talking about???
John: You just now asked me, and I quote, ‘youze pet a man’
Tasha: Okay okay.. this is a dead end street. Let me try another approach.
John: Shoot.
Tasha: Tashkent
John: Damn girl... stop it. I thought you hated that word.
Tasha: What word?
John: You know.. ‘c*nt’
Tasha: Why are you saying that word?
John: You asked me if I ‘touch c*nt’
Tasha: I DID NOT!!! Forget this.. Let’s have a normal conversation online.
John: Okay.. see you via instant message