This Would and Could Be Me... But In Uzbekistan

In 1983, Susie Scott Krabacher (pictured, left) was a Playboy centerfold. Now 43, the blonde, "hourglass-shaped" woman is a savior for Haitian babies, reports MSNBC. Krabacher, founded the Mercy and Sharing Foundation, a charity that provides shelter, schooling and health care to children from the poorest slums of Haiti. Funded mostly through private donors, the charity runs six schools, three orphanages, an abandoned-baby ward and a cervical cancer screening center. Krabacher's memoir, Angels of a Lower Flight, is to be released this month, and chronicles her journey from a poor childhood in Alabama to the Playboy mansion and to Haiti. Krabacher, who lives in Apsen but travels to Haiti several times a year, "has been known to waltz into the most dangerous slums wearing platform boots and flowing skirts to ask tattooed gang leaders to allow her charity work to proceed without being robbed."

There may be a few differences between me and Susie, but otherwise we are mirror images. For example, she works in Haiti but I would concentrate on Uzbekistan.
And instead of 'hourglass figure' I would be a 'butternut squash figure.'
And instead of 'Playboy centerfold' I would be someone with'some lewd Photoshopped pics floating in cyberspace.'
And instead of 'memoir to be released this month' I have a 'fluffed-up blog that is released daily.'

But, like Susie, I do have a tendency to waltz into the most dangerous slums wearing platform boots and flowing skirts to ask tattooed gang leaders to allow my "charity work" (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) to proceed without being arrested.