Is is all the boobage or perhaps my come-hither posts? But this past month I've received tons of emails, invites, and letters from agencies I briefly considered for adoption well over a year ago.
I mean, what gives? Seriously, hon, you can stop buttering my butt and calling me biscuit.
In the 'real world', every guy knows that after a half dozen phones calls and numerous mailed invitations to swanky soirees and she doesn't return your calls and declines your invitations - you ain't gonna get any. Period.
She just isn't into you. Baby found junk in another trunk. Her caboose is riding another train. She closed the door on you and threw out the key. So stop ... just stop bothering her.
99.99% of the male world gets it. They cut their losses and move on. They close the book on her. They say sayonara, adios, au revour, ciao bella.
I mean, if these agencies were a human male and the free consultation phone call had been our first date, he would have understood that there just wasn't any chemistry between us. When he leaned in for a kiss and I ducked away, I assumed that he got the drift that there was no 'us' and he could stop daydreaming of 'us' having kids together. It just wasn't going to happen. And the calls, now bordering on stalking... I told him as kindly as I could that I wasn't interested. How much nicer can I be? In fact I told him that I 'found someone else' and together he (now I'm referring to my current agency as a human male) and I were having a beautiful girl together. I mean, for god's sake .. I'm having another man's baby.
There's no turning back here. I've long passed the point of no return. Baby ain't making no U-turns.
Erase my number from your speed dial, delete my address from your little black book and for god's sake.. stop Googling my name. It's creepy.
Trust me baby when I say it's over.
You. Just. Ain't. Getting. Any.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
I hear ya, Tash. Hardly anybody's had to tell ME twice to quit the 3am hang-ups, stop leaving sonnets and prose under his door, put away the binoculars, and for chrissake untie him from the....oh, you were talking about agencies? Oh...uh...whoops. Never mind.
that's alright.
Just make sure you feed him every now and then.
I gotta start reading Susan's blog because her comments crack me up just as much as your posts do...lol.
This may come off wrong, but your post sounded familiar. It is almost word for word the same as your past post about EAC from June. Recycling posts?? haha
Keep up the laughs.
nobody likes desparation. and when an agency is going around begging for business, that is just plain wrong.
Hot dang! I am so busted. Yes, it IS a recycled post. But relevant, so to speak, because I'm getting all the invites to the holiday parties.
Gosh.. I didn't even know anyone was reading this blog in the early days of summer.
Good eye, anon.
I hear ya sister, I also still have uninteresting agencies raping my inbox.
heehee, like I said, I just thought it sounded familiar. I have an insane memory, at least for things that don't matter. Ask me about long division or the history of the US and I have nothing to offer.
Ahhh... but in my defense, I did add some new lines to the post.. such as the 'butter my butt' phrase.
But again, damn.. you're good.
As are you! I hear recycling posts can help protect the environment. Go green sister!
Post a Comment