An editor for a local paper asked me to talk about what happens at an adoption agency presentation. So I went to one and took copious, minute-by-minute notes for him and texted them to him as it happened.
3:34: “Ohmigawd. That lady is preggers. What is she doing here? Oh look… what a cute gay couple. Wooooah… nevermind, that dude is a lady.”
3:45: “Did that guy with his wife looking the other way just wink at me?!?!”
3:46: "Does this skirt make me look fat? Do I look like a loser coming here alone?"
3:49: "That lady has a cute handbag. It’s a Coach, I think."
[Uh, what about the presentation? Wasn't it supposed to start at three???? -Ed. ]
3:50: "Okay, adoption."
3:51: "Adorable cute babies."
3:52: "Blah. Blah. Blah. Something about forking over $40k –evidentially this agency knows they are most expensive but allegedly worth it, she says. Video presentation: heart string puller. Note to self: Do not make eye contact with presenter."
3:53: "Whatevs."
3:54: "Those babies look sooo cute!"
3:55: "Little toddlers from Kaz, Ethiopia, Guatemala smiling at the camera."
3:56: "Awww… baby in cute native dress."
3:57: "Ooh, are those chocolate chip cookies on that table?"
[Uh-oh. -Ed.]
3:58: "Oh my god. Those are… and there’s cheese and crackers too!"
3:59: "Yadda. yadda. Something about signing up today because most of these countries are closing soon."
4:00: "Not loving the presenter’s annoying habit of fake crying."
4:01: "That Coach handbag… it’s fake, by the way."
4:09: "Okay, it's over. I gotta get to the cookie table."
4:10: "As I was leaving I took three Diet Cokes with me."
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4 comments:
HAH! That's hilarious. I especially appreciate the parts about a)looking like a loser for coming alone, b)free food.
Sounds like the presentation I was at.
lol... I totally gorged on pop at the one I went to b/c we don't usually have it at home (right on! free food!)
No, I was not winking at you, I had something in my eye.
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