Yabba Dabba Kaba Ew!

My 'getting ready for baby' checklist is a whole 'nother animal. Getting the house childproofed, nursery set up and toys in place are just the tip of the iceberg. I'm working on the toys this week.

Wagon? Check

Big Wheel? Check

Dolls? Check

Kaba Kick? Che... what???

You haven't heard of Kaba Kick?!? It's the hottest toy on the market!! (in Japan.. but that's besides the point.)

Kaba Kick is a Russian roulette for kids. The player points the gun at his or her own head and pulls the trigger. Instead of bullets, a pair of feet kick out from the barrel (which is shaped like a pink hippo). If the gun doesn't fire, the player earns points.

Golly gee... how much fun is that?! Why didn't we have toys like that when I was growing up?

I've Got the Power! (x2)

That's right, ya'll! The Big Man in the Sky (aka Big Daddy) has ordained me twice to do his blessings.

What's a girl to do while she's waiting for her baby? I could be climbing Mt. Everest or sailing the seas but instead I decided to devote my time to a higher calling. Okay, maybe I didn't devote too much time - actually.. I think in all, I devoted 2 minutes... but that's besides the point. The fact is, Big Daddy's got me on his speed dial.

What does mean to you, my beloved visitors? It means that I can officially bless you, marry you, bury you and maybe even baptize you. I'm not sure about the last bit as I need to read the manual.

So if you would like me to bless your blog, dossier, sanity or perform a quick wedding for you, I will be happy to lend you my services.

And yes, this is official. I have a certificate to prove it (see above). Tori Spelling belongs to my circle of ordained ministers. So you know this is legit.

The other place didn't give me a free downloadable certificate but this is what they said:

Wednesday, September 26th 2007
This certifies that, by having been inspired by the spirit and formally professing faith in our Lord Jesus Christ and vowing obedience to His Holy Gospel;
Tasha Kent
has been duly called to minister and we hereby appoint you ordained as an Independent Christian Minister of New Horizon Ministry this 26th day of September 2007;
With all freedoms, entitlements, and exceptions due to such distinction in testimony whereof they have caused this letter to be imprinted and subscribed by a duly authorized representative.
In His Service, Pastor Michaud New Horizon Ministry

Oh... and donations are greatly appreciated.

OMG, I'm Missing Out On All The Fun

Remember when I showed you guys the posts about adoptive moms being about to induce lactation in order to breastfeed? And we all kind of collectively said 'Ewwwww.' Well, it is so back on in my book.

I'm tired of the pregnant ladies being able to eat all they want without feeling guilty [[Um... isn't that what you do anyway?? ... Ed]] and now they are able to pull some swanky CSI-like shit while in the midst of commiting a crime. [[Shit, Tasha. Don't mess with your questionably clean Homeland Security record that's in your dossier. ... Ed]]

According to a British paper. a would-be shoplifter in England, when confronted by a store detective, lifted her shirt and squirted him with milk.

The shoplifter's boobalicious choice of weapon is thought to be the latest in a crime trend where thieves try to get their DNA on security personnel so that they can later accuse the guards of attacking and molesting them.

Graham Collins, of a security company Citywatch, tells the paper: "It started off with people picking their noses until they bleed and then accusing staff of assault."

Right now, the best I could hope for would be to lift my shirt and have the security guard choke on his vomit.

Support the Hoochie Momma Sisterhood

Hallelujah! There's hope for us hoochie mommas! I've been searching long and hard for a fellow momtrepreneur to whom I could look up to. But every one was too professional looking and sane for my taste. And then, along came my guardian angel - Jean Kasem, the trophy wife of America's Top 40 disc jockey, Casey Kasem. She's a publicity whore who wears attention grabbing outfits and (according to her own bio) an award-winning actress. On top of that, she's also a momtrepreneur! (By the way, I had to post a lot of pictures of her because I'm certain none of you have ever heard of her.)

The multi-talented Mrs. Kasem is the CEO of Little Miss Liberty Round Crib Company. Liberty is her daughter's name so kudos to the swanky company name.

I am so going to buy all my daughter's high-end furniture from Jean's company. I've got to show her my support.

According to the Little Miss Liberty Round Crib Company website:

The Little Miss Liberty Round Crib Company proudly presents the U.S.A. patented, made-in-America Collection of designer Round & Heart shaped Cribs and Bedding. Authentic Little Miss Liberty Round & Heart shaped cribs and designer bedding sets are the first choice of many celebrity parents, Royalty, interior designers and Child care facilities -- even the White House has one!
Jeannie Kasem (Loretta Tortelli from the smash TV series Cheers) and husband Casey Kasem are the founders of Little Miss Liberty Round Crib Company -- the original Round & Heart baby crib company, named for their daughter.Proud professionals and parents across the country have discovered that Little Miss Liberty Round & Heart cribs are not only beautiful; they help reduce many common child safety hazards. Round Cribs & Heart cribs (by design) have no corners to endanger your child.

Check out the cribs... they are actually kind of cool looking, albeit too frilly and frou-frou for my taste. And royalty has graced those cribs. So you know I've just got to get one.

Okay.. truth is.. I'm actually envious that she came up with this idea. She'll probably get invited to be on Oprah and sales will skyrocket.

Why can't I create a 'must have' product???

Slo-Mo Running Through the Meadows

Ohhh... this is post 200. Because it's such a pretty and even number, I feel that I need to make this one special. I have no idea how. I mean, it's not like I have anything profound to say. But perhaps I should reveal a little something about myself. Give you a glimpse of me. Bare my soul, so to speak.

So here goes. Think of those corny romantic movies of the 70s when someone would run in slow motion across a field of lavendar. Well, that's what I'm going to do for you. Think Sound of Music.

Click here to join me on a memorial run across the meadow and me giving you a peek at who I am.

I's Gotta Work, Ya'll

I'm cutting my posts down to one a day. I've gots to, ya'll, just gots to concentrate on my 'real' job at the office. Can't afford to slack off or else, the following will be me in a few years:

These two lovely ladies are a mother and daughter hooker team. 62-year-old Mary Clark Duncan and her daughter, Theresa, were arrested in Fort Payne, Alabama after they were caught allegedly soliciting sex to an undercover cop.

They agreed to have sex with the officer for $30 for both of them. That's $15 each, ya'll!

$15 may not seem a lot to you and me, but you can get a lot of good shit for $15. That's 15 dollar menu items at Micky Ds. That's 2 packs of ciggies! Damn, that's probably a down payment on a nice ass trailer in Alabama! Don't joke. Represent!

A Walk in the Sand - My Convo with JC

It seems that a lot of these adoption blogs have religious undertones. It seems that the authors have found a guiding light from above. Yet for me, I'm still struggling with dealing with a lot of the roadblocks and turmoil in the adoption world of today.

It all kind of leaves me feeling guilty that I haven’t seen the Jesus bandwagon passing down my street. But when I think about, I’m sure this is how my encounter with the Lord would be like.

((pan camera in…. scene with Tasha and Jesus Christ walking on the beach))

Tasha Kent: Jesus, these footprints of ours side by side in the sand are symbolic of my adoption journey thus far.
Jesus Christ: Amen.
TK: But when I look back at all the hard times like the switching of countries, the homestudy frustration and other rocky times, there’s only one set of footprints.
JC: Yes, my sister, those are when I carried you.
TK: For reals?
JC: For shizzle.
TK: I don’t know, Jeez, I gotta tell you, I’m not so sure. Let me ask you something.
JC: Ask away.
TK: How much do you weigh? About 150? 155?
JC: That’s about right.
TK: Well… considering you’re not a big man and there were a lot of rickets, scurvy and other bone-crippling diseases in your hometown during your days… doesn’t give you much muscle mass. I don’t think you carried me JC.
JC: Um, you are mistaken. I carried you.
TK: You know, I’m kind of a big girl. I really don’t think you could carry me for that long. I mean, carrying something in the sand is more difficult than, say, on the grass or pavement.
JC: Don’t forget, I could do powerful things.
TK: Yeah, but that was 2000 years ago.
JC: Well, maybe I’m retaining muscle memory.
TK: Jeez, that was 2000 years ago! And those sandals of yours aren’t conducive to working out. What gives? Look at me in the eye and swear to me on a stack of bibles that you carried me during those times of adoption turmoil.
JC: (pan in on him looking at surf, at feet… not at Tasha’s eyes) Okay, Tash, I gotta a little confession to make. I may have been swimming on those days.
TK: Jeeeeeeeeeeeeze!
JC: Come on now Tash. Look at the waves, they rock! This is my first time swimming. Before, I was always walking on water, not in the water; never able to enjoy the actual splish-splashing in the water.
TK: Okay, you have a point. It is kind of fun.
JC: But don’t worry Tash. Me and Big Daddy, we’ve got your back.
TK: I know, JC, I know.

The Truth Lies in the Lying

I attended a 9am-5pm Sat/Sun pre-parenting adoption workshop this past weekend for shits and giggles. Okay, that's not true. I attended, in all honesty, to earn good adoption karma. I had already been through an entire weekend workshop during my homestudy; but since this was free, I felt I needed to go so the Gods of Adoption would look kindly upon me and see that I was doing everything to prepare myself for mommyhood.

Anyhow, during the workshop the presenter asked us all the question, 'what do you say when your child asks if his/her birthmother loved him/her?' I replied 'You say 'Yes, she loved you but due to circumstances wanted to make sure you had a good life... etc. etc.' I haven't thought of how to phrase my answer but it was along those lines. She then asked 'do you know that for a fact?' Me: um, no. Her: then don't lie. Tell her you don't know. That you would hope she did.

And then she went on to say that this was part of the child's grieving process. You don't want to lie because it will lead to more questions/verifications that you can't prove.

I must admit that I got thrown for a loop there. Can I really say that? Can I tell my child, or any child for that matter, that I don't know if s/he was loved by his/her birthmom?

It bugged me for hours and all day Monday. Finally it ocurred to me - why am I struggling over this!? I know damned well that I plan on lying my ass off to my daughter for the next 20 years.

It's all a matter of survival and justifying the punishment meeting the crime.

Mommy, you never ever cheated on a test before?
No, sweetie, I didn't. It never ocurred to me to do that. I always studied.

Sniff, sniff.. but moooooooommy, all the other kids stole candy. I'm sure you did the same thing when you were my age.
No, sweetie, I didn't. It never ocurred to me to do that. I stood by what was right.

Mommy, what's freebasing?
Honey, I haven't a clue. I think it's a baseball term when the batter gets to walk.

...and the list goes on.

But seriously, do you really tell your kid 'you don't know' when asked about the birthmom loving him/her?

Signs That I'm Not A Celebrity

I guess I'm destined to live on the other side of the tracks -living in a house with a dead lawn, car tires used as 'decorative' plant holders, and a trash can as the only thing holding up the entire left side of my front porch. In my neighborhood, Monday night is shopping night. After 10pm, cars drive slowly down the streets looking for 'treasures' in the trash left on the curbside for citywide pickup the next morning.

And on the other side where diva Madonna reigns, I've been given a glimpse into her world thanks to Simon Chisale, Malawi's chief social welfare officer.

After declaring her the "perfect mum," Simon said that Madonna's home has a special African zoo room built in it.

More importantly, her carpets are so luxurious it feels like 'walking on live sheep,' Simon said.

I don't know what walking on live (or even dead, for that matter) sheep feels like, but I'm going to assume heavenly.

*Sigh*

In my house, most people wouldn't be brave enough to walk around without shoes. And I guess wisely so. I'm going to assume it feels like walking on a mixture of what can only be described as algae and sand with microscopic organisms breeding in it. I guess you could call it my African zoo room.

Furthermore, although I can't prove it, I'm pretty sure visitors put paper down on the toilet seat in my house.

My View of the World

Let's face it, I'm bringing my daughter home to the land of idiots.

On today's The View, Whoopi asked co-host Sherri Shepherd if she thought the world was flat. Sherri so eloquently replied:

"I don't know. I never thought about it Whoopi. Is the world flat? I never thought about ...I...I...No....But I'll tell you what I have thought about. How I'm going to feed my child, take care of my family. 'Is the world flat' has not been an important thing to me."

Is the world flat?!

Aw dammit I don't know either. Oh Gawd Almighty, I'm as dumb as they come! Seriously, I think I learned that shit in 2nd grade. Where's Miss South Carolina when I need her?

Wait...seriously ... if the world's flat, how close to the edge is Uzbekistan? Shit.. what if I get too close to the edge and fall off? God, I hope there are baby gates along the edge.

No seriously now, I'm being serious here...is the world flat? I'm joking, I'm joking! Everyone knows it's a square!

But My Daughter Will Be Prettier Than Yours

Whatevs. I'm sooo over all this stupid research about the benefits of breastfeeding. I wasn't breastfed but yet I turned out to be a rocking chick with a rock-solid IQ and rock-hard abs. Okay, so I lied about one or two of them. Okay, maybe all three. But that's besides the point.

There's a new nursing top for moms to wear that's supposed to make their baby smart.

This top incorporates the latest research in infant cognitive development by using patterns designed to stimulate babies' vision.

Studies indicate that patterns with high contrast colours, especially black and white, register powerfully on a baby’s retina and send strong visual signals to the brain - the equivalent of a visual workout for the baby. It increases neurological connections in the brain and aids crucial cognitive development.

But that's okay with me. I'm going to wear my black shirts that I accidently bleached and while bonding with my daughter, she'll be getting a Rorschach inkblot test work-out from my shirts.

And furthermore, while breast feeding mommas are supposedly making their babies smarter, just remember that my non-breastfed baby will be better looking.

After all, it's how we look that really matters.

To prove my point, the makers of the smarter-baby shirts designed the shirts to be fashionable and attractive.

Um, Is It Really a Life Changing Moment?

When I shave my legs, it's a non-event. Or a curse-ridden event. Depending on the number of nicks I have. But according to Stacey Feldman, vp of marketing for Nair, “when a girl removes hair for the first time, it’s a life-changing moment.”

I seem to have missed out on that life changing moment.

In any case, enough about me. Let's talk about how Nair will give my daughter her life changing moment in 10 years.

Nair introduced Nair Pretty, a line aimed at 10- to 15-year-olds or, in industry parlance, “first-time hair removers.”

“I am a citizen of the world,” reads the Nair ad copy aimed at young girls. “I am a dreamer. I am fresh. I am so not going to have stubs sticking out of my legs.”

Oh yeah, evidently moms are just as eager to pimp their daughters. “(Young girls) were actually having hair removal slumber parties, where the moms were going out and buying the products for the teens to remove their hair,” he said.

Oh shit. I hope they're talking about leg hair.

On the Other End of the Hair Spectrum

Oh god. I can't believe this even exists but evidentially there's a design studio that makes pubic toupees. Yes, you read it correctly. It's called follicular fashion.

Designer Stefan Monzon's philosophy is that 'it's what's on the outside that counts.'


According to his website: My designs are for people who want to stick out and express themselves. People who want to experiment with what nature gave them to find out who they really are and who they want to be. My work is about individuality. It’s about expressing yourself. It’s about finding the beauty where no one has looked before. It’s about being inspired by the fullness of life around you. Absolute freedom that’s what I’m after: freedom to expose yourself, freedom to express yourself, freedom to grow a design on your body to explore the beauty of unconventional creativity.



Emphasis is mine. I mean, seriously dude, have you sold any of your designs yet? To a woman, that is.

I really have no idea what cocktail party one would wear such a fashion statement. I'm so not trendy.

Quote of the Day

"Adopted kids are such a pain - you have to teach them how to look like you."
- Gildna Radner

((Editor's note: I pity my poor daughter.))

Return on Investment

Ohhhh... I may be hurting financially this year but in 14 years, I can earn my money back.

Check out this website: MarryOurDaughter.org.

Check out the testimonials:

"Thank God for your site! Our daughter was really nervous walking down the aisle, but she seems okay now and the money we got let us keep our farm and even add on a few acres."

—Mrs. Addrien L.


"At first we were worried that Janine was too young to get married, but then her new husband bought her a house and a car and jewelry and the money we got let us buy a house for ourselves. Getting out of the trailer park at our age was the best thing that ever happened to us, and it’s all thanks to Marry Our Daughter!"

—Mr. Jack M.


“I was SO scared getting married so young, but my husband is an okay guy and I am SO proud that because of me my parents were able to get their first brand-new car and take the trip they always wanted to. I couldn’t have done it without your site!"

—Katrina K., married at 14


“Our 15 year old daughter Mary wasn’t very popular and did nothing but mope around the house bringing everybody down, so we decided to marry her off through your site. Now our house is a lot cheerier and we love our new swimming pool and Jaccuzi! We’ve told our youngest that when she turns 15 we’re going to marry her off too!"

—Mrs. James P.


((For those who are already freaking out... the website is a joke. Kinda like this blog - although it isn't.. but yeah, kinda is.))

Oh.. My Lazy Ass Is Happy!!

I've been lazy lately. You probably noticed that with all my video postings to interpret my feelings, etc. And now I learned that I can continue to be lazy for the next 16 years.

I dug up this golden nugget from the Disney Corporation from 1946(!) explaining the menstrual cycle. Hot dang! Now I don't have to rack my brain trying to find a delicate way to explain to my daughter why mommy's cranky every month and what's happening to her body.

It even tells her that yes! you can bathe during that time, you can exercise, but in moderation only, and if you are sad, take 'those days' in stride. Also, you can dance with a boy, but "don't get carried away." Translation: Don't have period sex!
Mommy's translation: Don't have sex, period!

Gotta love Walt.

What the Waiting Process Feels Like

a video interpretation







What the adoption process feels like

What the dossier process feels like

All Together Now... "AWWWWWW"

How can I not post this cute story?!

I'm sure there are a lot of ways to draw parallels between this story and adoption but I'm too lazy to even get off my duff to start down that trail. But from my armchair, I'll just say that it goes to show that all babies just want to be loved. Period.

Dove at First Sight

It's a tale straight out of Disney – an abandoned baby monkey, close to death, is revived by the love of a bird.
The 12-week-old macaque was rescued on Neilingding Island, in Goangdong Province, China, after being abandoned by his mother.
Taken to an animal hospital, he was weaned back to physical health but still showed little appetite for life.
It was not until a fellow patient, a white pigeon, took him under her wing and showed him love and affection that he perked up.
Now the two are inseparable, say staff.
They are not the first odd couple. In March, we told how a tiger cub in China was being raised by a sow along with her piglets because his mother didn't know how to feed him.
And in 2005 Mi-Lu the baby deer became best friends with lurcher Geoffrey at the Knowsley Animal Park, in Merseyside, after being rejected by her mother.

Children of the Damned Part 2

Note to Celebutards: You guys just make it too damned easy for me.

Charlize Theron said the following:

"Getting pregnant doesn’t excite me, but having kids does. I know I’ll be a mother someday. It’s just that...I don’t really want to look like a whale, you know?"

I like to think I'm more of a svelte manatee-shaped momma-to-be.

Charlize, honey... adoption isn't any better on the bod, if you know what I mean. Trust me, the stress will kill you and the only comfort you'll find is in a nice tub of Baskin Robbins chocolate peanut butter ice cream.

Just let it go. Let it go, sugar. You had your day in the sun with your hot bod. It's okay to let bygones be bygones.

Children of the Damned

I love celebutards. They give me so much to work with in this blog to kill the days when I'm sitting around waiting to travel to Uzbek.

Closer Magazine reports that Paris Hilton apparently wants to adopt "four blonde girls."

A source said, "Paris has been saying, 'You don't need a husband to have babies. There are babies in orphanages around the world,' and she's hoping to find four girls with blonde hair and pretty eyes."

"She's been telling people, 'I want a brood of little mini versions of me. I'll raise them to be the most famous women in the world.'"

Adoption Stress Busters Part Six

Are you still being bothered by the adoption agencies that you contacted earlier in your research process? Don't you wish you had a polite yet firm way of telling them that you really, really are no longer interested in their services?
I wish I had thought of something like this.




Adoption Stress Busters Part Five
Adoption Stress Busters Part Four
Adoption Stress Busters Part Three
Adoption Stress Busters Part Two
Adoption Stress Busters Part One

Adoption Stress Busters Part Five

Do you ever feel as though you are walking alone in this adoption process? Feel as though you are working on the dossier and all of the sudden a wave of paperwork, bureacracy and redtape is working against you?
You are not alone.
Here's a video interpretation of what's happening to you.




Adoption Stress Busters Part Four
Adoption Stress Busters Part Three
Adoption Stress Busters Part Two
Adoption Stress Busters Part One

Please. Just Don't.

Dear Daughter,
I tolerated your terrible twos and kept my wits together when you went through your teenage rebellious period with a tattoo, navel piercing and rocker haircut. And even today I manage to keep my mouth shut about your ridiculous bleached blonde hair.
But now you've gone too far. You’ve crossed the line that I will not accept. You’re embarrassing me in front of family and friends.
I will not, and I repeat, WILL NOT, stand for you wearing gingham. That’s so 1988. Really, that's the *only* thing bugging me.
Have I not raised you to know better? Keep it classy, girlfriend.

Sincerely yours,
Mom

I'm Not That Kind of Girl, This Isn't That Kind of Blog

I'm always curious who visits my blog. It's usually the same group of people.. fellow PAPs and sometimes someone does a Google search on Uzbekistan adoptions. When they do, my blog appears in the search results. They come and visit, but sadly, never seem to stay. I guess I'm just not giving them the serious, in-depth information they are looking for. Toy animals humping and dolls with wee-wees don't seem to provide any insights into adoptions. Go figure.

And today I come across an interesting tidbit of information. Someone's been coming to my sight via the following Google search:

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&sa=X&oi=spell&resnum=0&ct=result&cd=1&q=uzbekistani+single+woman&spell=1

(emphasis mine)

Damn.

Some bloke is looking for a mail order bride. I don't know what is worst... the actual online search for single women from Uz. or the fact that my adoption blog shows up in the search on the first frigging page.

Excuse me now. I gotta go bathe in bleach.

Tired of Waiting? How Are You Killing Time?

Think you're tired of waiting... the toys are too. Sitting in the room all alone with no one playing with them. Evidently they found ways to kill time.

Is That a Cheeto Leaking Water?

I'm speechless. Totally speechless.

Okay.. not really. But what ever happened to the male dolls of my generation?



Um... do these come in a Jewish model as well?

Oh.. and since you're aiming to be genitally-correct, where are the, um... sacks?

Adoption Agency Presentation Recap

An editor for a local paper asked me to talk about what happens at an adoption agency presentation. So I went to one and took copious, minute-by-minute notes for him and texted them to him as it happened.

3:34: “Ohmigawd. That lady is preggers. What is she doing here? Oh look… what a cute gay couple. Wooooah… nevermind, that dude is a lady.”

3:45: “Did that guy with his wife looking the other way just wink at me?!?!”

3:46: "Does this skirt make me look fat? Do I look like a loser coming here alone?"

3:49: "That lady has a cute handbag. It’s a Coach, I think."

[Uh, what about the presentation? Wasn't it supposed to start at three???? -Ed. ]

3:50: "Okay, adoption."

3:51: "Adorable cute babies."

3:52: "Blah. Blah. Blah. Something about forking over $40k –evidentially this agency knows they are most expensive but allegedly worth it, she says. Video presentation: heart string puller. Note to self: Do not make eye contact with presenter."

3:53: "Whatevs."

3:54: "Those babies look sooo cute!"

3:55: "Little toddlers from Kaz, Ethiopia, Guatemala smiling at the camera."

3:56: "Awww… baby in cute native dress."

3:57: "Ooh, are those chocolate chip cookies on that table?"

[Uh-oh. -Ed.]

3:58: "Oh my god. Those are… and there’s cheese and crackers too!"
3:59: "Yadda. yadda. Something about signing up today because most of these countries are closing soon."
4:00: "Not loving the presenter’s annoying habit of fake crying."
4:01: "That Coach handbag… it’s fake, by the way."
4:09: "Okay, it's over. I gotta get to the cookie table."
4:10: "As I was leaving I took three Diet Cokes with me."

I'm Always a Day Late, An Accessory Short

Damn.

I thought adoption was the 'it' thing nowadays.

Hollywood was embracing and endorsing it with the same passion as the Bee Gees did to tight white pants. Both trends gave you a glimpse of what was inside the person without revealing too much - showing you an outline of private bits without baring it all. Nicole Kidman, Angelina Jolie, Sharon Stone, Madonna and Meg Ryan were the leading ladies of this movement.

And now I learn that adoption is sooo 2006 and the new 'glamour' is giving birth.

The act of giving birth itself has caught the eye of the fashion industry. According to a press release, a new company called Binsi is manufacturing "posh and precious skirts, tops and robes to labor in"... so that "loyal fashionistas" can feel more like themselves. And the clothes are compatible with medical equipment!

Damn.

I'm always the last to know.

No Shit, Sherlock

Sept. 4 NYT Headlines: Men want hot women, study confirms; Rockers really are more likely to die early - study points to drugs, alcohol abuse as factors in stars' premature deaths

By the year 2010, there will be 53.1 million orphans in Africa and 68.9 million in Asia due to disease, poverty, starvation/dehydration and other ailments. Of the 3 million people who die every year due to waterborne diseases caused by unclean water, 90% are children under the age of 5. I could go on about the dire straits our world is in nowadays but I think you guys are smart enough to get the gist of this.

Yet a bunch of think tanks and scientific groups decided to spend research grants and other monies not to find a cure to these problems but to better understand why rockers die young and the pretty ones have bedmates.

What we need is more science. Sigh.